When a marriage gets to the end of the road, and there’s no going back the process of getting divorced can be very painful. Whether you saw it coming, or it caught you unawares doesn’t make much of a difference, there are still some very difficult decisions you need to make. Every one that you make is going to have financial, legal and relational ramifications for all concerned. There is also likely to be a ripple effect for your extended family. All the more reason to make sure the process goes as smoothly as possible, and you don’t have to force those around you to take sides. Here are some tips to help guide you.
- What do You Want from the Proceedings?
It may be a case of being allowed to walk away and wanting nothing. However, it’s more likely there are going to be assets that need to be allocated. There may also be children involved, and you might need professional advice and help to sort out the arrangements.
As well as considering what you want from your divorce also spend some time thinking about your partner.
- What are You Entitled to?
It’s perfectly feasible for you and your partner to work out money and property issues when you’re getting divorced. If you can do this, it will avoid the stress of going to court. A solicitor will help you draw up an agreement that makes things legally binding.
If you can’t agree on how assets will be split there is the option of mediation before the issue is taken to court.
A court can make a ‘financial order’ if you can’t agree between yourselves and their decision will be based on how long you’ve been married together with your ages, ability to earn, living expenses, the standard of living and what your role was in the relationship.
- How to Make the Process Easier for Your Children
Divorce can be very upsetting for children, and they often think they’re the cause of the separation. It’s important they understand it’s not their fault. When you talk to your children about getting a divorce, do it together, and your children will see you’re united in your decision. Think about the questions your children might ask and be prepared with some answers.
It’s going to be a very emotional time for them so give them space and allow them to freely express how they feel. Explain that you understand how hurt or angry they might feel, but that you’re going to be there to help them work through their feelings.
Most important of all is to explain that you will both still be their parents and always love and support them.
- How to Keep the Cost Down
If you’re both on speaking terms and prepared to act like adults, you’ll be able to negotiate your own divorce agreement. It is advisable, however, to seek legal advice to make sure the terms are fair to both of you. If you can’t reach an agreement, you’ll need help getting a divorce.
When your relationship has reached the end of the line, there’s no reason your divorce has to be a painful one. There are different approaches you can take and plenty of advice and help available.