Nobody wants to discover that their spouse has been unfaithful, but sadly, it happens all the time. Discovering that your husband or wife has cheated with another person, whether it be a one-off thing or a long-term affair, is heartbreaking and often quickly results in the demise of a marriage. If you have discovered your spouse’s infidelity, then you may have received conflicting advice when it comes to whether ending the marriage is the best decision to take.
Whilst many people are advocates of leaving a spouse who has cheated, this isn’t always the case – many people try to repair the relationship if their spouse has shown signs of remorse and is not motivated to be unfaithful in the future, whilst others believe that it is best to stay together and try to work things out for the sake of their family. But, repairing a marriage after unfaithfulness is never an easy task. If you have decided to try and save your marriage, these tips may help.
Tip #1. See a Therapist:
Firstly, it’s important to understand that when a spouse cheats, it is often an indication of problems in the relationship, or with themselves. Of course, that is not to say that you are at fault whatsoever; quite the opposite. However, it’s important to understand how and why your spouse may be feeling unhappy with your relationship and their motivations for being unfaithful. To truly repair your marriage and start afresh, it’s important to first deal with these reasons. To do this, it’s a good idea to take some sessions with an online marriage counselor who can help the two of you work through the issue and come up with a solution.
Tip #2. Get Support for Yourself:
Along with getting counseling for the two of you as you try to work things out together, it’s also important that you look after and get support for yourself. Being cheated on results in horrible emotional wounds; you may feel inadequate as a spouse and find yourself constantly wondering what you did wrong. You may be finding it very difficult to trust your partner; what else have they been lying about? In this situation, you will need as much emotional support as you can get to help rebuild your confidence and understand that it is not your fault. Surround yourself with loving friends and relatives who you can lean on for support as you recover from this emotional trauma.
Tip #3. Set Boundaries:
If your spouse is begging you to forgive them and you have decided to try and make a go of working things out, then it’s important to make sure that they know what you expect from them. For example, of course you have every right to demand that they cut all contact with the person that they have been cheating on you with, and anybody associated with them. It’s also not unreasonable to request that they get tested for sexually transmitted infections, and be sure to have a test yourself. Lastly, demand truthfulness and honest answers to all your questions. It is the least that you can expect!
Have you forgiven a cheating spouse? We’d love to hear from you in the comments.