TL;DR: Deal-breakers can be shaped by cultural norms and not individual truths. Values and beliefs that seem to clash at first can actually complement each other, ultimately benefiting the couple and stimulating personal growth. An issue that appears non-negotiable often involves reassessing which values truly matter to you.
A deal-breaker in a romantic relationship is a value, belief, trait, or behavior that fundamentally conflicts with your own. This non-negotiable issue makes pursuing or continuing the relationship feel impossible, especially if the other person is unable or unwilling to change that aspect. Interestingly, cross-cultural dating can challenge you to rethink your deal-breakers by exposing how what you consider “non-negotiable” could be shaped by your cultural norms rather than an individual truth.
When you’re dating someone from a different background, things like communication styles, family roles, gender expectations, or even views on time and affection may differ significantly. What once seemed like a red flag might turn out to be a cultural nuance rather than a personal flaw. Cross-cultural relationships have the potential to foster greater empathy, flexibility, and clarity about what love truly means. On a more global level, cross-cultural relationships go against the grain by introducing new notions and ideas to different demographics.
Different core values can be complementary
As of 2025, it’s estimated that partners share up to 89% of traits on average, including ingrained values such as religiosity and political beliefs. Different core values can complement each other and strengthen the relationship, though. For example, one values professional success, while the other focuses on family life. When they combine their values, they can encourage progress toward a successful career and a well-balanced home life or, ideally, achieve both simultaneously.
Distance between partners can be a deal-breaker, especially if having to travel for extended periods to meet them doesn’t sit well with one or both. You might reconsider it as a unique opportunity to become well-traveled and learn things about the world you otherwise wouldn’t have. Taking trips together and understanding where your significant other comes from is an exciting experience. You will eventually have a place to be welcomed by family and close friends in two parts of the world. You will fully immerse yourself in a new world and create a culture between the two of you. Even if you end up being in a long-distance relationship, they have a 60% success rate.
Not sharing a language doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. Getting to know somebody in two languages is a lot like getting to know two people in one. Some things are better understood in your language, and others – in theirs. Eventually, you might be able to express certain things in their native language better than yours. While it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact number of bilingual couples globally, multilingualism is definitely on the rise, and around 43% of the world’s population can speak two languages fluently. At least a quarter of US households speak a language other than English.
FAQ
How do you identify deal-breakers in a relationship?
You have a lot in common and enjoy each other’s company, but something feels off. You might have great physical chemistry but don’t share a sense of humor, or vice versa, and it’s a no-go. A deal-breaker might be a red flag that keeps getting redder.
Does reconsidering deal-breakers have to involve lowering your standards?
It’s not the same. It does often come with reassessing which values truly matter to you and which ones might just be habits you’ve inherited as a member of a certain culture or ethnic group.
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